Wednesday, December 14, 2011

Eugene Gets in the Christmas Spirit

From my in-box:

Dear Pro-family American,
Yes?
The Radical Homosexuals infiltrating the United States Congress have a plan:
Great!
Indoctrinate an entire generation of American children with pro-homosexual propaganda and eliminate traditional values from American society.
Even better! The great American tradition of bigotry is in serious need of elimination.
Their ultimate dream is to create a new America based on sexual promiscuity in which the values you and I cherish are long forgotten.
Now I am confused.  I thought we were talking about homosexuality.  Not that I have anything against sexual promiscuity either, but one issue at a time, okay?
I hate to admit it, but if they pass the deceptively named "Student Non-Discrimination Act," (H.R. 998 & S. 555) that's exactly what they'll do.
So the deceptively named Student non-Discrimination Act will teach students to not discriminate against homosexuals?
Better named the "Homosexual Classrooms Act," its chief advocate in Congress is Rep. Jared Polis, himself an open homosexual and radical activist.
...Elected democratically by his electorate.
And it's dangerously close to becoming the law of the land.
H.R. 998 already has 150 co-sponsors in the House!
And S. 555 already has 34 co-sponsors in the Senate!
My heart just grew three sizes.
That's why I need you to act quickly -- right away -- to protect our nation's youth.
I have prepared the official "Protect Our Children's Innocence" Petition to Congress for you to sign.
So, that's not deceptively named at all....

[clipped for length and histrionics]

The Homosexual Lobby knows that if the public knew the truth about their radical agenda, they'll have no hope of success. 
I beg to differ.
And their dangerously close to ramming their perversity into law.
Said the hooker to the magistrate (*they're).

[clipped for repetition and more histrionics]

That's why I need your generous contribution. In addition to your signed "Protect Our Children's Innocence" Petition, will you contribute $250, $100, $50 or even just $35 right away.
Gee, how much does innocence cost (and where can I get some?)

[More clipping, because I am getting bored]

History classes will document the "civil rights" struggle against the "oppressive" pro-family establishment.
Wow.  I mean... wow.  I got nothing.  I don't even know what to say to this except they I am glad I am not in your "family".

[Clippy, clippy]

Traditional values will be squashed and demonized as old fashioned or out of date, or even as bigotry.
Yes, because why would opposition to "civil rights" (in scare quotes) be seen as bigotry?

[More repitition, more requests for money]

Thank you so much for all you have done.
You are so welcome.

Sincerely,

Eugene Delgaudio
President,
Public Advocate of the U.S.

[More requests for money]

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