"Steamy sex but not erotic (ménage, m/m, etc.)"
I am not sure what is worse, saying heterosexually it not erotica, or that homosexuality is never steamy. Like gay people don't kiss under the mistletoe and hold hands in the street--they go straight from "hi, my name is Sam", to bend over while I fist you with a cantaloupe.
Orientation and levels of graphic/explicit depiction are independent factors. If you are not interested in same sex romance submission, just say so. Don't imply that it is because they are too extreme.