Monday, March 26, 2007

Pet Meme: Molly

Hi, my name is Molly, and I own author L.E. Bryce. When she isn’t working, beading, or sleeping, she spends a lot of time in front of the computer either writing or drooling over pictures of other cats in the online kittypix community she belongs to. Honestly!

Last night, Mommy had her headphones on, which she usually does whenever she writes or wants to ignore Grandma, or both. All I know is, she wasn’t paying any attention to me when I told her I wanted another bottle cap. So being the enterprising shelter kitty that I am, I hopped up onto her chair to investigate what she was doing.

Fortunately, she wasn’t looking at kitty pictures. On the down side, there were all these black squiggly lines on the screen, but while trying to pry the cap off Mommy’s Aquafina bottle, I managed to figure out what was going on.

Mommy is very strange. She says the name of her book is My Sun and Stars, but since it was night, there wasn’t any sunlight for me to roll around and lounge in. It starts with some person named Adeja going to visit somebody Mommy refers to as the “cake-boy prince,” Sephil. She says her book is romance, but if she wants to write romance, why doesn’t Mommy give Cake-boy and A-déjà Vu proper names like Bobber, or Scratch, or something? I have a boyfriend called Scratch, just to let you know.

So halfway down the page, it says that Cake-boy Prince has some cats. Oh, this looks interesting, but stupid Mommy doesn’t write about them. She scritches my head and tells me there’s pussy later in the story, which makes me feel a little better, and I promptly inform Sarra the Brain-Dead Canine that Mommy is writing a story about me.

But then, Mommy scrolls down and shows me the pussy part, and it’s all yucky stuff, with A-déjà Vu and some skanky human female like the one who lives two doors down and never picks up after her yappy Chihuahua. Bleck! I have to get off the chair, slink over to the kibble, and start chewing through the bag just to get the taste out of my mouth.

Mommy complains that some people don’t like her writing because they don’t get it. Well, if Mommy wants to write good romance, she should write about my friends outside. Scratch and his brother Patch are very handsome boys, and smell VERY nice, even if they are fixed, and their brother Sniff is okay, too. A bit weird, though. He and his sister Baby Kat are always rubbing up against each other; Mommy says they’re trying to twist their family tree into a wreath.
See, kitties are interesting. If Mommy wants a best seller, she needs to write about some real pussies.


veinglory said...

Into a wreath LOL

Anne D said...

lol, real pussies HAHAH!

My son is always getting caught out, but he doesn't know why (I mean he's six). Coming from NZ we call cats, pussy cats - pussy for short. We were over at a friends (here in the usa) and he was going on about his pussy called meowmies. All the adults turned their heads to look because they thought he was talking about something quite different :D

veinglory said...

As we have 3 cat entries now I have the prize ready to go... details soon :)

Unknown said...

It was the best I could come up with for having been so sick for 10 days.

Glad you liked it.