Thursday, August 07, 2008

How not to learn the trade--veinglory

Let me start by saying I don't know a damn thing about the 'World and Romance Academy'. I can't say, however that they give much of an impression of having a clue.

Their page on about their 'writing erotic romance foundation certificate', for example, says this to me:

* Copy editing is not a priority (capital letters and periods are fun to use when you feel like it).
* We think erotic romance is primarily about cock (see top picture) and pussy (see even less subtle 'bottom' picture). (But these picture are by artists so it isn't gratuitous, right?)
* We suspect your main problem will be writing about sex (see points #1, #4 and #5).

Will taking their course (520 euros) and/or paying for an analysis of your manuscript (200 euros and up) make your work publishable? Of course it will, as they are also a publisher! Yippee! And what's that you say, they are also a literary agency? What luck!

And in this course where you get "Invaluable advice from top romance editors and writers" who exactly are these unnamed advisers? Are they perhaps the people who are being asked to donate their teaching time for free here?

Oh dear. Oh dear, oh dear, oh dear.

Oh dear.

p.s. they have contests where the entry fee is 10% of the prize amount. But how many red flags does a person need?


Anonymous said...

And their choice of art is "Cupidon and Psyché" by Jacques Louis David. There's nothing quite as sexy as two fifteen-year-olds laying in a bed naked, but only if the boy has a smarmy look on his face.

Not quite sure what "smarmy" means? Let's ask Miriam-Webster:
Inflected Form(s):
smarm·i·er; smarm·i·est
smarm to gush, slobber

1 : revealing or marked by a smug, ingratiating, or false earnestness (a tone of smarmy self-satisfaction — New Yorker) 2 : of low sleazy taste or quality (smarmy eroticism)

Enough said. For now.

Anonymous said...

Hey - for 250 Euros I can learn hip hop for beginners! Online!!!!!! Sheesh. I suspect I still won't be able to dance even after taking this course. ROFLMAO!!!!!!!

Red flags indeed.

Cat Grant said...

I'd rather have a contract than some cockamamie writing certificate any day.