Saturday, October 15, 2011

Fisking My Hate Spam

Dear [ ],

Thank you for your recently signed petition. I am excited to know you are an American who is willing to take a stand for pro-family values.

Actually I responded to the survey in a way that indicates that I fully support the insidious gay agenda in all its forms.

Here at Public Advocate, fighting for and defending the family values our nation was founded on is what we are all about.

Really? Because you seem to spend a lot of time promoting homophobia and spamming people.

If you are looking for a hard-hitting pro-family organization with a history of victories against the growing radical Homosexual Lobby, look no further than Public Advocate of the United States.

Founded in 1981, Public Advocate quickly took center stage as the nation’s leading family advocate with over 400,000 united pro-family activists.

I feel ill.

Time after time, Public Advocate has beaten back the attempts of the Homosexual Lobby to pass legislation aimed at making homosexuals a special class of citizens.

You means a class with human rights?

But, victories these days have been harder and harder to come by.

Finally, some good news.

Which is why I so excited to have your signed petition!

It was a survey, not a petition.  And I answered the opposite of what the slanted questions suggested.  So this was clearly a doubly-deceptive piece of nasty bigoted marketing tripe.

With it, I will prove to Congress that the American people still hold traditional family values dear.

Yes, like freedom or religion and the right to life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness.

And if you believe the threat of the Homosexual Lobby is being blown out of proportion, think again.

Well, if you keep blowing on it, it will tend to become... bigger.

At this very moment, individuals and organizations with hundreds of millions of dollars that comprise the Homosexual Lobby are working to pass their radical agenda.


Here are just a few names and organizations you may recognize: Tim Gill, Barney Frank, Pat Stryker, Jared Polis, Cindy and Meghan McCain, The Advocate, GLAAD, and the Human Rights Campaign.

Apparently I have not been getting all the radical gay agenda newsletters, because I haven't heard of some of these.  But I will be sure to look them up now and buy their products and contribute to their causes.  Thanks for the heads up.

All of these people are working towards what they call “equal rights” for homosexuals, when in reality, the rights they are trying to acquire would be unique to homosexuals only.

Not really, if other people want to get married, not be discriminated against, and bonk the same gender--well, they are welcome to.

A Thought Control bill was just recently passed. This bill puts into law regulations that deem so-called “hate speech” as illegal.

This has me worried, and I hope you are too. Because who is to say what language will be considered hate speech?

I imagine it would be encouraging the audience to hurt or kill people based on demographic variables.

Don’t believe me? In Canada and Europe pastors have been thrown in jail for preaching Biblical teachings against homosexuality.

Citation or it didn't happen.

This very well may be the reality of Thought Control in the United States.

I hope you know how serious this issue really is.

Yes, I find you unsupported inflammatory bullshit very convincing. I mean, who wouldn't?

Which is why, as President of Public Advocate, I have devoted my life to protecting family values and defending our freedoms.

Me and my family encourage you to take a long holiday... or, better yet, retire.

I want to leave a legacy I am proud of, knowing the United States is still the nation I grew up in.

Instead of having retrospectively become Australia just to live down the shame?

But without your support, this year alone we could see Barney Frank’s so-called “Employment Non-Discrimination Act” put into law.

God forbid, it could have become illegal to fire someone for being gay.

We call this the “Gay Bill of Special Rights” because it doesn’t eliminate discrimination, it destroys workplace protection from radical homosexuals whose only mission is to spread their agenda.

The radical agenda of not being fired for being gay. That is about as alarming the the right to not be fired for being a woman, for getting married, for having a child, for being black, or Jewish....

If passed, the Gay Bill of Special Rights would require workplaces to meet a quota of homosexual employees, forcing employers to choose a radical homosexual over a potentially more qualified candidate.

Bollocks, pure and simple.  You really are just making this shit up.

And no workplace will be exempt. Churches, daycares, nursing homes, private schools, you name it, all will have to adhere to these regulations.

Actually churches generally are exempt, and the rest sure as hell shouldn't be. They are in danger of making the military industrial complex the most liberal employer in the country.

And Obama is even looking to push for the repeal of "Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell" this year, which would remove the protection our soldiers have from the Homosexual Lobby.

So this is totally not mass-mailed spam no one bothered to update....

And even the Healthcare bill is filled with numerous paybacks to homosexuals, giving lower healthcare premiums to “unmarried” homosexuals than married couples, all paid for at taxpayer expense.

[Blinks]  So it is okay to discriminate against some one for not being married... because you won't let them get married? So it is okay to make gay tax-payers subsidize heterosexual married couples, but unthinkable to do the reverse?

I hope you understand this threat is real. . . and imminent.

Don't get my hopes up,

And I also hope you will consider making a donation to Public Advocate to help protect our family values.

Public Advocate will never waver from the firm conviction that political decisions should begin and end with the best interests of American families and communities in mind, and that marriage is a sacred union between one man and one woman.

Okay, so I guess you don't even think I have a family.  Thanks, dude.

Public Advocate has been 100% dependent on the financial support of contributors, we do not receive any government or taxpayer money, nor do we want it.

How noble.

I would appreciate it if you could help support Public Advocate by making a charitable contribution, please click here.

How did you get charitable status? I think of charity as more like feeding the poor, not oppressing the gays.....

No matter the amount, be it $5 or $50 or more, every dollar you give is greatly appreciated and will go a long way towards defending our pro-family values.

It is my hope to keep you up-to-date on the fight for pro-family values through email alerts.

It is my plan to send any such mailings to SpamCop.

There are some tough battles coming up very soon and I am going to need your help if we are to win.

I sure hope so, because in that case you are doomed. 

Thank you for your support.

Fuck you very much.

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